Why It’s Totally Okay NOT to Get Married in Your 20s

Something we often learn as we get older is that we all have our own paths. And while it may seem like ALL of your friends are on the fast track to marriage, homeownership, and kids, you may want to move along at a somewhat slower pace. And, Loverlies, that’s totally okay. Forget the pressure your mom’s been putting on you, because we’ve got 5 reasons why you should feel completely confident in your choice to take your time.

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1. You’ll get to know yourself better. Your 20s are a time of great growth for most people. It’s usually when kids truly become adults, independently supporting themselves for the first time…ever. So taking those years to figure out who you are, what you want out of life, and what you need from others is a crucial step in building a strong sense of self. And understanding yourself as an independent being opens you up to better understanding others and creating a happy, healthy relationship.

2. You and your partner will get to establish a more solid foundation. Taking your time allows both you and your partner to get to know each other incredibly well. You’ll have time to build a solid friendship with each other before any of the pressure of finances, taxes or household responsibilities get in the way. Plus, you’ll have the opportunity to see how you’re able to support each other through the good AND bad times before you’re legally forced to support one another. That means that you’ll have a good understanding of how to be the other’s rock, how best to compromise, how to fight, and how to make up…which is what a solid marriage really is all about at its very core.

3. There is no timer on the relationship clock. As soon as you turned 25, your mom might have started dropping some not-so-subtle hints that the clock was ticking for you. Maybe you felt pressure because ALL of your friends are moving on from singledom and tying the knot. Whatever the reason for that momentary panic, there is no such thing as a relationship time limit. Sure, if you want to have 19 kids (and counting) like the Duggars, you might want to start thinking about getting married in your 20s because there are biological clocks to consider. But if you know you only want a few (or perhaps none at all), you’ve got nothing to worry about when you hit your late twenties…you’ve still got some breathing room. Do what feels right for you and best sets you up for the future you want.

4. We evolve at different times. Who we are as teenagers is very different from who we are when we’re in our 20s. As we learn more about life and push ourselves to experience new people, places, and ideas, we are constantly changing. Our taste in music, movies, food, and even friends can change over the course of just a few short years. And when we don’t even really know who we are and what we want, it’s extremely hard to fully comprehend what it means to spend “forever” with someone. It’s important to make sure the person you’re marrying is evolving with you or hindering your personal growth, and that takes time to see.

5. You will be more confident in your decision-making skills. Trusting yourself is a huge part of being a happy person, so the fact that you can listen to yourself and know not to settle down with just anyone is kind of a big deal. You may have to kiss a few frogs before you finally meet your prince, but at the end of the day, when you finally make the decision to say “yes” to spending forever with someone, it will be that much sweeter. Because you’ll be absolutely, 100%, no questions asked sure.