8 Money Matters Every Couple Fights About While Wedding Planning
Making decisions about money isn’t easy, especially when it’s a lot of money. So, of course, it’s not unusual for couples to argue about financial matters while planning the big day!
If one of these eight super common fights surfaces, don’t freak. Talk it out, compromise, and remind yourself what the wedding is truly all about…
If you’ve never planned a wedding before, seeing all the costs add up to a whopping price tag can cause some tension. This is likely the first time the two of you have had to make decisions about such a large amount of money together, so understanding how to dive in isn’t easy. It can be hard to rationalize such a big amount. Discuss what elements mean the most to you and take it from there.
If your partner’s family has offered a couple thousand dollars but your family only can afford a few hundred, tensions may run high. Meanwhile, if you’re paying for the wedding yourselves and one of you makes more money than the other, you may be wondering if that person should foot more of the bill? There’s no right or wrong way to move forward. Discuss the options openly and honestly to determine how to divide and conquer.
One of you wants the amazing (and amazingly expensive) venue, and the other wants a five star restaurant-worthy menu. While you should both be able to get what you want, your checkbooks can only stretch so far. Determining where to splurge and where to save is no easy task. Try as best you can to honor number one on both people’s list, and if you just can’t make it work, consider other compromises so that you both feel equally represented.
Do you think favors are just a huge waste of money, while your spouse-to-be thinks they’re a necessary thank-you gift? Does your fiance think a limo isn’t worth the cost, while you can’t imagine a getaway in your own beat-up car? Try to see both sides of the argument. Since every element can’t be your top priority, consider whether some details truly mean as much to you as you initially think they do.
Since the guest list is the biggest factor in determining a wedding budget (more guests means a bigger venue, more food, more cake, etc.), divvying up the invites is important. But what if your family includes 10 aunts and uncles, 25 cousins. and some sorority sisters, and your partner’s is only a few siblings and cousins? Decide how important “even” is to you before finalizing your list.
With marriage comes lots of other exciting events maybe you’ll buy a house or start a family soon (and some day, you’ll want to retire!). Of course, those next steps cost a lot, too. Would you rather spend on your wedding or save for those big, later-in-life events? Have an open and honest discussion about your long term priorities and carefully evaluate your finances together.
Some people think a wedding is more important—you get to be around all your family and friends, after all, and it’s a memorable night for everyone. Others prioritize the honeymoon because it lasts longer than a one-night party. Since the two are often back-to-back, it’s tough to splurge on both, so couples need to decide where they’d rather invest. Talk it out and budget accordingly.
A friend who recently got married suggested a few vendors, but when you ask for quotes, the numbers are way out of your price range. From there, it’s easy to compare your own wedding to your friends’, which can definitely cause some tension. Just remember that this is your wedding, so you should budget in whatever way makes sense for you.
Almost all couples fight about money, and it’s something that will likely come up in your marriage many times after the wedding. Don’t let an argument about expenses ruin your relationship. Work through the decisions together and compromise—you’ll be stronger in the end for it!
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