The Basics of Being a Groomsman
It’s been called the “easiest job in the wedding,” and though it’s not as demanding as being a bridesmaid, being a groomsman comes with its fair share of responsibilities. Read on for the ultimate groomsman’s to-do list.
Pay for your tux or suit. This should be a no-brainer, but be sure to do it on time, make sure the fit is perfect, and handle any necessary alterations.
Help plan the bachelor party. The best man will probably take care of most of the major details, but contribute some ideas (and cash) and make sure the groom gets exactly what he wants out of the celebration.
Attend the wedding shower (if it’s co-ed). Many modern couples host co-ed wedding showers, where the families and friends of both soon-to-be-spouses attend and bring gifts. If this is the case for your pal, you probably won’t have to plan the event but you should attend and bring a gift. Ditto for the engagement party.
Photo by Alvin Mahmudov
Attend the rehearsal dinner (and consider making a speech). This night-before-the-wedding event is a nice opportunity to get to know the families of your engaged friends (if you don’t already). Preparing some kind (and appropriate!) words in advance is a sweet gesture.
Be there for the groom on the big day (and help with any last-minute wedding tasks). Your main job on the day-of is to arrive on time and be there for the groom. Make sure he eats and offer emotional support if he’s stressed or nervous. If anyone needs last-minute help with decorations, food, or flowers make yourself available, and, if possible, check in with the bridesmaids to see if they need anything.
Usher guests. At more formal weddings, you may be asked to act as a pre-wedding usher. Help guests find their seats and ensure that the first few rows are full (it makes the photos look better).
Walk down the aisle. Don’t trip! And offer to help the ring bearer if he gets stage fright on the big day.
Hold the rings. This job most often falls to the best man, but it’s an important one!
Decorate the getaway car. Your newlywed friends might be riding a bike, hopping a city bus, or riding into the sunset in a vintage Rolls Royce — find a way to make it memorable.
Give a gift. You’ll likely be spending a lot of money to be in your friend’s wedding and to attend pre-wedding events, but make room in your budget for a wedding gift. You also might consider going in on a more expensive, must-have present with the other groomsmen.
Help with breakdown and carry gifts to the car. Post-wedding, sometimes members of the bridal party need to assist with clean-up duty. If that’s the case, get involved. (We’ve seen far too many groomsmen stand around and watch the bridesmaids do all the work!) And when it comes to breaking down or moving items, everyone will be looking to you to be the muscle, so help out!
Behave yourself. Some groomsmen are dead-set on getting the groom drunk the night before the wedding, but a hangover on such a long and emotional day really isn’t that hilarious. Don’t be That Guy.
–By Stephanie Hallet