How Technology Could Be Killing Your Relationship

From our overflowing email inboxes, to our attachment to our smartphones, to our always-on televisions, and our obsession with social media, a recent article in the Washington Post got us thinking about how technology can undoubtedly cause issues between partners.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez

Here are the major ways that technology and gadgets could be wrecking your relationship (and how to deal).

Smartphones are seriously sabotaging meal times.

Nowadays, it’s practically commonplace to put your iPhone on the table (and to text mid-meal, no less). But it is not only rude to spend your one-on-one meal time scanning Instagram and texting your friend from high school, it actually disconnects you from your partner. Focusing on your phone instead of your food (and your partner) takes you out of the present moment and you begin to miss the little joys.

 

It compels you to play the relationship comparison game.

So, your high school friend just got an amazing bouquet of flowers from her husband (and the picture to prove it) and your friend of a friend was recently whisked away to Tuscan by her man. It doesn’t take much to see these kinds of things online and wonder why you’re flowerless and not bound for Italy.

Remember not to take other people’s postings of how great their relationships are at face value. According to a study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin  people usually make private moments in their relationships public because they feel “more insecure about their partner’s feelings.” That goes for those lovely-dovey chronic wall-posters, too.

It gives you a bad case of FOMO.

Not only can spending too much time peeping your friends’ lives make you feel jealous of their relationships, but it can make you feel less satisfied with yourself. A study published in 2014 showed that if you tend to feel that fear of missing out, you may also feel less competent and more lonely—and more likely to check out what other people are doing on social media. Talk about a vicious cycle.

Worrying about what you’re not doing and what’s lacking in your life is a confidence killer, to say the least. And if you’re consumed with negative thoughts, this lack of positivity is going to trickle into your real-life relationships—your coupledom especially.

It cuts into your sexy time.

On a practical level, all this time spent scrolling through our social feeds could be better used doing other, more productive things… like getting busy. If you have a habit of checking your phone right before you go to sleep, you’re missing out on another activity that could be happening in bed.

One study also found that too much phone use can actually cause relationship strain, detachment and insecurity, especially when one person is more attached to technology than the other. So, going tech-free, in the bedroom at least, can be a great thing for couples, both intimacy-wise and emotionally.