5 Totally Legit Reasons to Say "No" to Being a Bridesmaid

To be blunt, being a bridesmaid or groomsman can be a financial burden. When you add up the cost of attire, gifts, parties, lodging, and travel, you might have a number bigger than your last paycheck. If you can’t afford all the wedding party expenses, tell the couple that you just can’t make it work. Then, do your best to save up enough to make it to the wedding and provide emotional (not financial) support along the way.

Logistics are only more difficult to plan when you and the engaged couple live miles apart. This is especially true if the couple wants your help on everything from registering for gifts to making DIY projects—you can’t very well help if they’re in New York and you’re in L.A. Plus, traveling for the shower, bachelor/bachelorette parties, and wedding day is a lot to ask.

You’ve got your own bridesmaid dresses and catering decisions to worry about—how could you possibly help with someone else’s? If your wedding is fast approaching (and especially if it’s within a few months of your friend’s wedding), the bride- and groom-to-be will totally get how much stress you’re under.

So your friend just asked you to be in her wedding…but your sister’s wedding is just two weeks before that. That’s a lot of bridesmaid responsibility to take on! If you can’t handle the time or expenses required of both, stick to only one wedding—the one who asked you first. The bride may be bummed at first, but ask her to look at it from your point-of-view.

If the wedding date is the same day as a vacation you've had booked for months or another major family event, it's OK to decline the wedding party invite. After all, you can't always put your life on hold for a friend's wedding. Just be sure to send the newlyweds a gift and a heartfelt card! Of course, if you can rearrange your schedule, the couple will definitely be appreciative of your effort. Of course, if you really DO want to be a bridesmaid, but you know you have some of the above limitations, just be sure to have an honest convo with the bride-to-be. She'll probably want you involved in the planning process even if you can't attend every event or help with every decision. When you tell the to-be-weds you can't be can be in the wedding party, you can expect them to feel a little bummed — after all, they love you and want to include you. Make up for your absense by putting in a little extra effort throughout the planning process. That way they'll know that you support them and their marriage. If you make preserving the friendship your top priority, and everyone will understand. 5 Ways to Create the Perfect Bridesmaid Proposal 10 Things Bridesmaids are SECRETLY Thinking Here's What Bridesmaids Can Really Expect to Spend on All Those Pre-Wedding Events

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