Do NOT Give These Gifts to Your Significant Other This Year…
‘Tis the season for giving. And while we believe it’s really the thought that counts, it has to be the RIGHT kind of thought. This is your friendly reminder that the holidays are NOT a time to subtly let your significant other know everything you dislike about them. As your mom used to say, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” The same goes for gift giving. Rather than dropping a passive aggressive hint this year, give one of these more thoughtful gifts instead.
1. A box of Rogaine.
- Translation: I’m genuinely worried that your hair is just going to get worse, and all of our photos together will just be tragic. For as long as we both shall live.
2. The “Sex for Dummies” book.
- Translation: You don’t know what you’re doing in bed. We need to work on your moves.
3. A gym membership.
- Translation: I know it’s the holidays and all, but you’ve gained some weight. Let’s get an early jump on that New Year’s resolution shall we?
4. A gift certificate to your local pizza place.
- Translation: My wallet’s a little thin at the moment…
5. A toaster.
- Translation: We really don’t know anything about each other…but I know you MUST like toast.
6. A 6-pack of Natty Light (with the receipt from the convenience store stuck to the side).
- Translation: So, uh I forgot to get you a gift. These are actually for me, but I guess you can have some too.