How to Deal When You and Your Partner Are Total Opposites

We all know the phrase “opposites attract.” For some couples, however, opposites attract so much that they decide to spend the rest of their lives together.

opposites attract

Photo by Tiraya Adam

While it can be a bit crazy-making sometimes to choose to forever bind yourself with someone who’s so different from you, being married to your opposite can be an incredibly fulfilling experience. Here’s how to deal when you and your partner seem to be perpetually butting heads and how you can learn from each other in the process.

Realize that you don’t need to be exactly the same.
It’s time to really get down with the fact that you aren’t two peas in a pod: You may never be that couple who finishes each other’s sentences or likes the same bands or does the same hobbies together. That’s okay! What partnership looks like for some people isn’t what partnership looks like for others—you don’t need to be carbon copies of each other to be in a strong relationship.

Remember that neither of you are “wrong.”
Stop fighting each other on your ideological inconsistencies. Even if you’re a vegetarian and he’s an avid carnivore, you’re both technically “right” when it comes to your eating styles. Instead of trying to change each other, learn to respect your unique viewpoints and values for what they are.

Look at your differences as opportunities for new adventures.
Your partner may love mountain biking, while you’re still scared to ride a beach cruiser. Use your opposing hobbies as opportunities to challenge yourselves to try new things and you’ll both reap the benefits of stepping outside your comfort zone.

Learn to compromise.
No matter how different or similar two people are, every couple needs to practice the art of compromising. Luckily, since you two are already total opposites, you’ll have so many chances to work together to find common ground. Learn how to hone your skills of negotiating and conceding and you’ll be on your way to a long and healthy union.

Cherish the fact that you have your own interests and passions.
You might tend to focus on the negative aspects of being total opposites—but that doesn’t help anyone, now does it?! Instead, be excited and proud that you’re two different people who have chosen to come together to build a joint life. Having outside interests and passions actually makes your relationship more dynamic and exciting since you’re each fulfilled by more than just each other.
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