Feel a little nervous every time you open a save the date or another invitation? Once wedding season rolls around and the weekends are filling up fast with showers, bachelorettes, and weddings, there are bound to be conflicting wedding dates.
So, how do you deal when two events fall on the same day? Well, at first, you probably feel like this:
Photo by giphy
And then when you realize you actually have to deal with this predicament, you feel more like this:
Photo by giphy
Don’t worry, Loverlies! We’re here to help you avoid the drama. Here are our rules for how to deal with conflicting events.
If you have two weddings on the same day…
1. Check the schedule and locations. If the events happen to be relatively near each other (i.e. in the same city), then you may have some wiggle room. And if the timing is right, you could potentially go to Wedding A’s ceremony and Wedding B’s reception. Just make sure you talk to the couples in advance to make sure they’re alright with the plan. And if it’s not going to work out perfectly, don’t force it. In most cases, you’re going to have to choose one.
2. Split up. If you have a significant other, consider dividing and conquering! It may not feel like an ideal situation (no, you won’t get to bust a move on the dance floor together, but both sets of newlyweds will be grateful that you put in the effort to show your support at both celebrations.
3. Immediate family comes first. It would be super fun to see all those college friends at your former roommate’s nuptials, but your family would never let you forget it if your missed your brother’s wedding. Same goes for your significant other’s immediate family. You wouldn’t want to look back on those family photos and be the only one not in them!
4. Do your duty in the wedding party. If you already agreed to stand up in the wedding, you’re definitely obliged to attend that one — no playing Katherine Heigl a la 27 Dresses!
5. Choose what you can afford. Your second cousin is having a Punta Cana wedding? Awesome — for them, but maybe not for your bank account. If you’re not really not sure which wedding to attend (and there are no other major factors in play), it’s perfectly acceptable to choose the one that’ll be friendlier to your finances.
6. Consider how close you are to the couple. The colleague you’ve sat next to at the office for 2 years, or the childhood next-door neighbor who you swam in the kiddie pool with? There’s an argument for either, but your relationship with the couple should play a significant factor in your decision. Who will appreciate your presence more? Who are you more excited to celebrate?
7. Make it up to the couple you couldn’t celebrate with. Sending a wedding gift even if you can’t make it to the party is a nice thought. But if you were really conflicted, don’t stop there. Set up a dinner date, a weekend getaway, or another time to catch up and celebrate their marriage.
If you have a wedding and another wedding event (bridal shower, bachelorette, etc.) on the same day…
1. The wedding gets first dibs. After all, those other events are leading up to a wedding, so the bride- or groom-to-be will totally understand that you have to be at the big day. Just promise them that you’ll make it to their big day, even if you can’t get to the smaller celebrations.
2. Stop by the smaller party, if you can. Let the host know that you won’t be able to stay, but if your schedule allows, drop in before the wedding ceremony. (If it’s a daytime bridal shower and an evening wedding, you might be able to go to both!) Your effort and expert scheduling skills will be much appreciated!
3. Send a gift or a card for parties you can’t attend. A nice note or a gift from the couple’s registry is a sweet way to say you wish you could have been at the bash. No need to go crazy — something simple will do the trick!
We know this can be a sticky situation to navigate, Loverlies. Do your best to weigh your options and make a decision that will make everyone feel as loved and supported as they are. Good luck out there!
-By Kristin Doherty
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