Wedding 101

How To Deal With a Wedding Guest Faux Pas

by Chandra Fredrick on

If you're in the midst of wedding planning, you've probably encountered one or two annoying wedding guest faux pas. In an effort to have a positive attitude in the new year, here are some ways to deal with common wedding guest flubs and faux pas without losing your cool.
1. The guest who doesn't return their RSVP to your wedding. I know what you're thinking: "How hard is it to send in that pre-stamped and addressed envelope and just let me know whether or not you're coming to my wedding?" Well, from the number of guests who will fail to do it, it must be harder than it looks. This is every couple's pet peeve, and it was mine too. Here's how I dealt with it: enlist help, depending on which side of the family the person fall on. Ask your parents or your future in-laws (anyone who isn't YOU) to contact the no-RSVPs and get a clear response on attendance. They can always frame it as, "They haven't heard from you and just wanted to be sure you got your invitation!"
2. The guest who asks she can bring a +1. If you didn't address their envelope with the guest's name, or "and guest" then the answer should be an obvious "no." But, there will be people who ask anyway. My solution? Rehearse a general answer to give in this situation so you are prepared when you are asked. For example: "We have limited space in our venue/limited budget/etc. and had to be pretty brutal with the guest list! We think there will be enough people there who you know that you'll still have a great time."
3. The guest who constantly contacts you with questions. First, make sure the answers to the questions they are asking can be found on your wedding website. If the answers are clearly there, direct them to your wedding website. If you don't have a wedding website, try to give answers to basic questions like recommended hotels and the wedding location to family members who can help you spread the word.
4. The guest who is mad you didn't invite his kids. This one happened to me too -- we decided to have a 'no kids' wedding for several reasons and one invited guest made lots of passive-aggressive comments on Facebook and to other family members about their feelings on the omission. What to do: stick to your guns and calmly explain why kids are not included. Also make sure you implement the rule fairly. Make a rule, like no kids under age 15, and stick to it. (You can make exceptions for kids in the wedding party.)
Have you had one of these issues come up during your wedding planning? How did you deal with it?
XO,
Chandra, Oh Lovely Day
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